I Just Don’t Understand

Even the blind can tell when there’s a gay street fair in the neighborhood. The crappy music assaults you from blocks away. Why is it that every single faggot event on the planet must occur to the accompaniment of techno, disco, house, or some variation? Does everything “gay” have to be made into a giant circuit party?

Judging from the above, you’d be assuming correctly if you guessed that I skipped the Dore Alley Fair today. The street was thumping a bit too much and I got scared. I thought about the first one I attended (in 1991, before I moved here) and how there were actual live bands. With guitars and everything. I stoppped about half a block short of this year’s.

Instead, I popped into the corner bar and had my way with this boy who had a Cocteau Twins tattoo on the back of his neck. Not a bad substitute, I thought.

Since it’s been a while since I’ve done this, here’s today’s list of things whose popularity I just don’t understand:

  • Hootie and the Blowfish
  • The Toyota RAV4
  • Rice cakes
  • George W. Bush
  • Huge lawns which require mowing
  • Nordstrom
  • The USA Network
  • The Family Circus