New Year’s Eve

Only 79 days to go, and I have no New Year’s Eve plans. Should I be worried?

New Year’s Eve has never been one of my favorite holidays, and I’ve actually spent the past three at home with Mom and Dad in North Carolina, parked in front of the TV. But this one is special, after all, and I feel morally obliged to do something moderately memorable.

But what? I definitely don’t want to be in the middle of a crowd, be it in San Francisco, New York, Las Vegas, or wherever else. The traditional champagne toast in a ballroom or nightclub holds no appeal whatsoever. And the first person who suggests a sex club will be publicly ridiculed.

I thought about hosting Planet SOMA M&M party (get it? M&M? MM? the Roman numeral for 2000?) at some Motel 6 in Fresno or someplace like that. I’d probably be holding court completely alone but at least I’d have free HBO and coffee in the morning.

Of course, the thought of sleeping through the whole damned thing and “waking up in the future” has also crossed my mind.

Anyway, I’m open to suggestions. This does NOT mean I’m looking for a “date”, so thanks in advance for skipping the generic and unspecific “I’d love to hang out with you on New Year’s Eve” messages this time around. What I’m looking for is something unusual to DO, or some bizzare UNCROWDED place to go. You might be allowed to come along if I like your idea…

Coming tomorrow: why I hate PG&E…