What Attention Span?

What attention span?

  • The people I most worry about during these anthrax scares are the letter carriers. And not for the reasons you think. My fear is that some of them are going to snap and do unspeakable violence to the next idiot frat boy who cracks an anthrax joke, chuckling and thinking he’s probably the first one all day who was “original” enough to think of it.
  • Yes, these are the same frat idiots who run around yelling “hot enough for you?” when it’s 110 outside.
  • Yes, I work with one of these idiots.
  • Biggest score of the weekend: a cheap CD which sounds like it was mastered from a warped 8-track, but contains the song “Winchester Cathedral” by the New Vaudeville Band.
  • Children should not be heard and should only be seen from a great distance.
  • Sunday the 14th was one of the hottest days of the year. On Sunday the 21st, I almost turned on the heat for the first time. Ahhh, October.
  • Best find (as opposed to score) of the weekend: a semi-abandoned laundromat in Mountain View, where Jamie and I did our laundry (mine being a considerable amount) in realtive peace.
  • Second biggest: finding an Albertsons down the street from it, which was closing for good and selling out its entire stock (sale items included) for 25% off. I’ll have canned tomatoes, cooking spray, and Beef-a-Roni until the end of time.
  • Why have I suddenly developed this fascination with Oswald from “The Drew Carey Show”? It can’t be healthy…
  • Has anyone other than me noticed that all these super-patriotic commercials and public service announcements lately are disarmingly similar in production, tone, and music to those “free speech” announcements that ran at the beginning of almost every commercial porn video a few years back?
  • And has anyone considered what a good idea it might be to get some free speech announcements on the air right now, before people forget what it is?

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