Dreams: The Bus

Tuesday 4 January 2005 10:00 am | Personal

It was a really long and very cold San Francisco day, and I was glad to see the 12-Folsom finally coming down The Embarcadero. Once I finally got on the bus, I realized I only had a five dollar bill. We were almost to my stop on the edge of downtown Greensboro before a nice platinum-blonde lipstick lesbian (who was strangely flirty) gave me change so I could pay the fare.

I got off the bus and walked a couple of blocks toward Elm Street. For some reason, the stop wasn’t at its normal place, but I didn’t find this terribly odd. I was, however, surprised by all the clutter in the streets: barricades, concrete barriers, etc. Then I realized that I was in a roped-off area along with an older lady who had been on the bus with me. And all of a sudden, there was a crowd of onlookers by the ropes - hundreds of them.

I heard a pop like a firecracker, then a horn and a bell, and a shout. Instantly, I knew what was going on. I turned around, and within seconds, a 12-story building a block a way was being imploded. Thinking fast, I suggested that the older lady and I run away quickly before we were enveloped in a cloud of dust. I was particularly worried about the dust, because I was already a little stuffy. We ran across all the debris in the street, debris which didn’t come from the building, but which had already been there when we arrived.

A couple of blocks away, we figured we’d safely outrun it all. There were still lots of spectators milling about. Everyone looked a little lost because they apparently had torn down a different building than the one everybody was expecting. We waited a while to see if they’d go ahead and bring down the right one too, but I got bored and decided to walk home.

After hiking the three or four miles down Spring Garden Street to my parents’ house, I found Mark there waiting for me with several friends I hadn’t seen in years and whose names I couldn’t remember. Mark and I decided to go to bed.

And I woke up with him this morning back in San Francisco, ready for another day at work. I hope today and tonight will be slightly less eventful. I’m rather tired.

More People I Hate

Sunday 9 January 2005 10:00 am | Pop Culture, San Francisco

More people I hate:

  • Stupid Bay Area soccer moms who are intimately acquainted with the struggles of starving children and oppressed peoples on the other side of the planet but who somehow remain completely and woefully oblivious to the people two feet behind them in line at the store while they start searching for their credit cards or checkbooks AFTER their stuff is rung up and while they stand there rearranging their purses and blocking the ATM terminal for half an hour after paying so no one else can check out…
  • Corvette-driving, ugly, old men with bad hair who tailgate people driving in the slow lane on the freeway. Does anyone under 50 (or with good hair) EVER purchase a Corvette? No. It’s marketed to a”rebellious” old white guy in the midst of a major mid-life crisis who wants a “hot” car but also still wants the familiar GM/Delco stereo with all the buttons in exactly the same place they were in the Oldsmobile he traded in for the Corvette. These cars are apparently designed for people who want to drive really aggressively but are too wimpy to do so anywhere other than the far right lane…
  • Newscasters who repeatedly refer to rain as “bad weather”…
  • Rachel Konrad, for no other reason than allowing a word like “exergaming” to be used in a legitimate news piece and thus potentially to be used again by someone I might actually have to HEAR saying it…

Randomly Monday

Monday 10 January 2005 10:00 am | Pop Culture, San Francisco, Stupidity, Urban

Saw the new Sylvan Learning Center commercial this morning, featuring yet another annoying, doe-eyed, blonde Mormon child and his annoying, doe-eyed, blonde Mormon mom. When will they just go ahead and start using the tagline “Sylvan Learning Centers: Fixing all the damage those horrible brown-skinned children have inflicted on your child’s education”?

Or maybe: “Sylvan Learning Centers: Cheaper than White Flight”…

Every time I walk by the old Pacific Stock Exchange and see how it’s been stripped of all its dignity and transformed into an upscale gym, I think about how I’d almost rather that they’d torn the damned thing down. Even if you aren’t a supporter of capitalism — and I realize that a significant number of San Franciscans are rather ambivalent about this particular economic system — you have to wish they could have found some better use for a building with that much history than to turn it into a trendy latter-day sweatlodge for vain, self-obsessed yuppies…

Alas..

—-

I finally asked around and found out that yes, there is in fact a San Francisco city ordinance responsible for the fact that every building in the whole bloody city is freezing cold all winter long and stiflingly hot during September and October.

Enacted a year before I arrived in the city, the Structural Temperature Equality Ordinance of 1991 required that no heating or air conditioning system of any sort be employed in any San Francisco building unless said system were designed to REDUCE the temperature during the winter and ELEVATE it during the summer. It further stated that no variance of more than three degrees shoud be allowed between the outdoor and indoor air temperature within any building designed for human occupancy…

I think it had something to do with preserving the sensibilities of homeless people without heated or air-conditioned shopping carts…

And yes, I’m making this up. However, keep in mind that (a) there really DOES seem to be no discernible climate control anywhere in this godforsaken city, and (b) our Board of Supervisors is NOT above passing really silly and pointless legislation

January Past

Friday 14 January 2005 10:00 am | Personal, Reminiscence, Technology

The Ghost of Mid-January Past:

I feel like I should do something important and journal-worthy today, but I’m not sure exactly what…

San Francisco 100, Me 0

Thursday 20 January 2005 10:00 am | Friends, Personal, San Francisco

So this past weekend, after several years of fights and struggles, San Francisco finally won and I was ready to admit that the city had finally sucked all the life out of me. It wasn’t a big deal, really, and I don’t even care to elaborate. It was just one more weekend’s plans and excitement thwarted by various factors that normal people living in normal cities don’t have to deal with, and I finally just cracked…

I know a lot of completely reasonable and rational people who like it here. I wish them well as I prepare to free up one more mildly substandard and somewhat overpriced apartment in a couple of months…

Thanks to my wonderful husband for putting up with my breakdown this weekend. I promise I’ll be better as soon as the doctor ups my thyroid medicine just a little more, baby…

Vehicles That Taste Good

Thursday 20 January 2005 10:01 am | Pop Culture, Stupidity

Y’know, for my money, nothing says “style”, “elegance”, “sophistication”, “class”, and just plain old “good taste” quite like a big honkin’ SUV limo…

Outtakes II

Wednesday 26 January 2005 10:00 am | Site-related

For your amusement (and to keep me from having to write anything new), it’s the second installment of Otherstream Outtakes, a collections of rants and journal entries I never quite finished or posted over the past two years or so…

Enjoy. If you need me, I’ll be in the living room burning DVDs…

Pot. Kettle. Black.

Wednesday 26 January 2005 10:01 am | Current Events, San Francisco, Stupidity

Chris Daly has the audacity to call someone else an idiot?

Taxation Without Morals?

Friday 28 January 2005 10:00 am | Current Events, San Francisco, Stupidity

So has anyone on the SF Board of Supes considered that the proposed 17-cent grocery bag tax (oh wait, I mean “fee”) will — in much the same manner as high cigarette taxes — place the city in the rather sticky position of depending on commodities it theoretically despises just in order to collect additional revenue?

No. Probably not…

Picture

Friday 28 January 2005 10:01 am | San Francisco, Urban

There’s no real deep or hidden message here. I just liked these two houses side by side and felt the need to snap a picture…

The Weekend

Sunday 30 January 2005 10:00 am | Home and Domesticity, Mark, Pop Culture, San Francisco, Travel

 

Things I enjoyed this weekend:

  • My long, pointless, and aimless Saturday drive which ended in Sacramento, and involved taking lots of pictures, some of which I may post some day…
  • The new Target in Albany, with its two levels, its cheap food department, and its seeming lack of long lines…
  • Even more cheap stuff at the new Winco in Vacaville…
  • Lunch at one of the only Chick-fil-A outlets in California…
  • Dinner at Gaspare’s Friday night with Dan, Jamie, and Eugene…
  • The Three Faces of Eve

Things I could have skipped this weekend:

  • Doing emergency repairs on the kitchen sink — using a combination of duct tape and electrical tape — in a valiant effort to keep the damned thing working until we move into an apartment in Charlotte which (we hope) doesn’t have 90-year-old plumbing…
  • The traffic on the Bay Bridge last night as my cheap frozen food from Target and extra Chick-fil-A takeout began wilting in the car…
  • Having to wrap myself in two comforters because I (a) have no circulation to speak of lately, and (b) had no boy to snuggle with…

The Joys of Lowered Expectations

Monday 31 January 2005 10:00 am | Home and Domesticity, North Carolina, San Francisco, Urban

The other night, I went to dinner with some friends. I was all giddy when we found a parking space only three blocks away from the restaurant. One of the things I’ll really miss when I leave The Land of Lowered Expectations™ is this ability to get all excited about small things that people in almost any other city would find quite unspectacular…

For example, any of these can give me that warm, squishy feeling of being the luckiest guy on earth right now, but it probably won’t be that way in Charlotte:

  • Going out to the car and discovering that it hasn’t been broken into.
  • Coming home and not finding someone smoking crack or shooting up on the doorstep.
  • Going to the supermarket on a weekend and actually being able to find bread and milk.
  • Having a bus arrive on time and actually being able to sit down once on board.
  • Walking a whole three blocks without being spoken to by a single homeless person or Scientologist.
  • Getting through a day without having to smell marijuana smoke nor urine in any public place.
  • Visiting heated and air conditioned buildings with adequate plumbing.

Semantics

Wednesday 2 February 2005 10:00 am | Pop Culture

I made a bank run for work this afternoon and as I left, the teller told me to “have a blessed day”. Now even if I believed in such a thing as a “blessed” day, which I don’t, wouldn’t it sort of be out of my hands as to whether or not I had one? Wouldn’t that instead be up to the one doing the actual “blessing”?

Yeah, semantics. I know. And then there’s this:

Jeez, what did they do? Shoot him? Wouldn’t it have been enough just to have cancelled his speaking engagement? Did they have to cancel him?

I’ll stop now…

Mornings on 2

Wednesday 2 February 2005 10:02 am | Pop Culture, Stupidity

Note to the folks at “Mornings on 2″ on KTVU: most people don’t really watch morning news shows for long periods at a time. Thus, if you tease stories repeatedly for an hour or so before they actually air, all you end up with is a lot of pissed off people who never see the story in question and who eventually stop caring and start watching some other channel’s morning news…

Especially if watching that other channel frees them from hearing the perpetually trite pronouncements of one Frank Somerville

The Land of Lowered Expectations

Friday 4 February 2005 10:00 am | San Francisco, Urban

Too many people in San Francisco seem willing to settle for less.

From the ridiculous housing situation to the transportation system which just doesn’t work to the the filthy and unsafe streets to the everyday hassles of everything from a trip to City Hall to a trip to Safeway, San Franciscans pay a premium for what is, in many ways, a severely substandard quality of life.

And why do people do it? Some just don’t care. Even more think they have to in order to live in a “stimulating urban environment”. Still others are just trapped here for one reason or another. Many people here have just given up on expecting (or even contemplating) decent, pleasant housing for a reasonable price, or clean streets, etc. It’s as if the whole city had collectively thrown its hands in the air and decided to give up on many of these niceties of life, assuming that such things were solely for “bland suburbanites” and people in other parts of the country.

Housing and Rent Control:

Housing is definitely issue number one. People here work hours and hours of overtime just to pay the rent on dingy, squalid hovels which may or may not have adequate heat and hot water. Many of these people would be capable of owning a reasonable home in almost any other city, yet month after month they throw money away renting substandard housing in San Francisco.

The again, what are the alternatives? San Francisco lacks that crucial middle step between squalor and splendor. There’s very little opportunity to “trade up” housing-wise, unless one is able to move a really long way up. So-called “starter homes” don’t exist here. When one’s lot in life improves, what is one to do? Give up the rent-controlled apartment for one that’s 50% nicer, but costs four times as much?

That’s the joyous legacy of rent control. I know these are fighting words, but it’s not only an unfair system of shifting the burden of financing the city’s “housing program” to a select few property owners, but a particularly effective means of keeping low- and middle-income people marginalized for life.

Landlords will, in almost all cases, boost the rents on vacant units as much as they can, simply because that’s the only point at which they can ever be assured of any signifiant rent increase. Who can blame them? Prices have to equalize somehow, the law of supply and demand being the powerful force it is. Thus, rent control will always mean that rents on occupied units will be always be artificially low and rents on vacant units will always be artificially high. Thus, rent control eliminates the possibility of upward mobility for low- and middle-income renters who can rarely afford to leave their original rent-controlled apartments for an upgrade. It’s just not justifiable for them given the dramatic price increase it inevitably involves.

With respect to housing, there’s very little incentive for gradual improvement over the course of one’s life. And that lack of incentive inevitably leads to lowered expectations and stagnation in other aspects of life as well.

Crime and Grime:

Face it. Much of San Francisco is just plain filthy. Large chunks of the city are extremely uninviting due to the presence of trash, feces (animal and human), panhandlers, graffiti, drug dealing, and other assorted ills.

Low-income working people in the Tenderloin and South of Market and the Mission should be outraged that the city is not enforcing laws which would make their neighborhoods cleaner and safer. And many of them are. Even more, however, have just given up, recognizing that San Francisco apparently places a higher value on its non-productive citizens than on those who keep it going.

When my car is broken into, I don’t call the police. I have no fantasy that they would care nor that the call would do any good. I’d gladly go through the somewhat involved process of filing police reports if I had any idea that it would change anything, such as resulting in additional patrols and enforcement, but I know better. I’ve come to expect nothing from San Francisco. At least I’m never disappointed…

We take it as a matter of course that “street cleaning” means that parking tickets will be issued, not that actual cleaning of any real sort will occur. We realize that — in a city where there are debates about whether urinating on the sidewalk should be illegal or not — enforcement of “quality of life” crimes will be spotty at best and prosecution will be virtually nonexistant. We know that while graffiti artists are good and should be nurtured, building owners who unwittingly provide a canvas for them are bad and must be fined.

We know where our city’s priorities lie. Living in San Francisco, we’ve learned that — in general — nothing will ever get much better. And many of us just don’t care anymore. Maybe we’ve convinced ourselves that we don’t deserve any better.

Everyday Hassles:

There are lost of everyday hassles people live with here simply because they believe they have no choice. It’s a pain in the ass living in the big medium-sized city. The most simple things from doing laundry to buying groceries to (heaven forbid) dealing with the city can become almost Kafkaesque tasks. It’s easier to buy illegal drugs than some basic necessities. And did you ever try to get rid of a large piece of furniture or an appliance? It’s not pretty, unless you break the law just cart it down to the street, where it may be picked up in two or three weeks.

Granted, much of this is merely a result of the tight urban fabric and would be an issue in any older, densely-populated city, but it doesn’t help that San Francisco is plagued by (a) a transportation system which is friendly neither to the automobile nor to mass transit, (b) a significant lack of some basic services — e.g. supermarkets — relative to its population, and (c) a municipal government which seems more concerned with keeping its citizens from smoking in, or driving to, its city parks than from pissing, or shooting up, in them.

In Conclusion:

A lot of people think the trade-off of living in San Francisco is worth the hassle, inconvenience, and reduced standard of living involved. More power to them. They don’t believe they’re settling for less, or they’re comfortable with the idea that they are. Obviously, a lot of people want to toil endlessly at dead end jobs just for the “privilege” of living here, and who am I to say they’re wrong?

But I’m not one of those people anymore. I don’t think I’m getting much “bang for my buck” here and my expectations are a bit higher. Or at least a bit different. And I think many other people might agree if they looked at the situation critically and rationally…

 

Dreams: Immigrating to the Sex Club

Friday 4 February 2005 10:01 am | Personal

Interesting dream, but mine was stranger, I think. I don’t remember all the details, but the basic plot was that Mark and I were immigrating to Canada. The checkpoint and sign-in for immigrants was part of a very large semi-outdoors sex club situated around a lake. Mark went in ahead of me while I signed some paperwork and checked my clothes, which seemed to take an inordinantly long time. Then I couldn’t find Mark, so I stolled around the lake wondering how many of the fags there really wanted to move to Canada and how many of them were locals who were just there for the sex…

Then I woke up, realizing that I needed to take a whiz, and pondering how dressing and undressing always seem to take a really long time in dreams…

The Date Is Set

Tuesday 8 February 2005 10:00 am | Home and Domesticity, North Carolina

The date has been set…

Just Wondering

Wednesday 9 February 2005 10:00 am | North Carolina, Personal

So is there anyone out there who just happens to live in Charlotte and just happens to have a spare job they’re not using right now? Or, more specifically, one that they won’t be using starting aroung the middle of June?

Just wondering…

And while I’m at it: what’s a good pizza place in Charlotte nowadays? It’s been a long time…

 

Valentiniversary

Wednesday 16 February 2005 10:00 am | Mark, Reminiscence

A year ago this morning, I was cold, wet, and exhausted, but quite excited because I was about to marry the most wonderful boy in the world…

Want to watch?

Porter

Thursday 17 February 2005 10:00 am | Pop Culture

Think what you will about his music; it’s not really my cup of sour mash, either. But you can’t help but love that man’s jacket…

Drowning San Diego

Thursday 24 February 2005 10:00 am | Current Events, Friends, Mark, Travel

 

I’m not sure why every time I visit Southern California there seems to be some sort of Armageddon-like event going on, which means that (a) it’s very tedious to watch the local news, and (b) I’m a little reluctant to call my mom and let her know where I am…

Anyway, now that I’m home I can reveal that Mark and I were in San Diego and Long Beach over the past long weekend, that we ate well and met up with Shane and Chuck, that we spent an extra day on the road getting the car fixed so we could come home, and that it was very moist all over Southern California all weekend long, which was rather refreshing…

I’ll probably have more to say on the subject later…

Another Journal

Sunday 27 February 2005 10:00 am | Site-related

Since I’m doing such a stellar job of keeping my personal web journal up to date, I’ve also added one over there, for those of you who may care. It is, after all, my most popular website now, so some fresh content couldn’t hurt…

And yes, I’m refusing to use the ridiculous term “blog” on that one too. I’ve been doing this a lot longer than 90% of all “bloggers” so I can call it what I damned well please…

Frequent Sleeper

Monday 28 February 2005 10:00 am | Mark, Personal, Travel

I am now important. I have finally earned my first free night as the Red Roof Inn frequent sleeper. Yup. It’s class all the way for me…

1 March 2005

Tuesday 1 March 2005 10:00 am | Pop Culture, Technology

Do you have SBC DSL but use a different provider for email? Were you having trouble sending email today? Yup, it happened to me too. I’d already dumped one ISP for committing this same atrocity, among others. It is to SBC’s credit, though, that they at least allow customers to opt out of this particular “service”…

Unrelated: is the following paragraph one the single worst-written one you’ve read this month or what?

While the United Kingdom is the most popular destination for U.S. companies to expand beyond domestic markets and into rapidly growing European markets, Wales is increasingly a primary destination of choice for Bay Area, West Coast and North American businesses pursuing new opportunities in booming European markets.

The whole article, ummm, lacks a certain clarity, but that first paragraph is a lulu. If I recall correctly, the Chronicle used keep a copy editor or two standing by in the newsroom for just such an emergency…

Decency

Thursday 3 March 2005 10:00 am | Current Events, Pop Culture, Stupidity

Decency Rules Should Apply to Pay TV:

“Cable is a much greater violator in the indecency area,” the Alaska Republican told the National Association of Broadcasters, which represents most local television and radio affiliates. “I think we have the same power to deal with cable as over-the-air” broadcasters.

I, ahem, respectfully disagree

LA Time Machines

Sunday 6 March 2005 10:00 am | Pop Culture, Urban

Now this is a sexy website to find in your inbox after a quick weekend getaway…

In Coloe

Friday 11 March 2005 10:00 am | Geeky, Pop Culture, Reminiscence

 

The coolest thing about the new Brady Bunch season box sets is that the episodes have cool artifacts like the “in color” intros and the original Paramount logo and music…

Alas, they still seem to be missing the “back after these messages” bumpers which featured a different cast member’s voice each week and ran at the end of act two…

Am I a really big ol’ geek for remembering this stuff from my childhood?

My Name’s Friday

Friday 11 March 2005 10:01 am | Pop Culture

Yay!!!!

Randomly Thursday

Tuesday 15 March 2005 10:00 am | Pop Culture, San Francisco

This morning as I was making my way from the bus stop to work, I heard the Ferry Building clock chime twenty-three o’clock, and I realized that either (a) something was very wrong with said chime, or (b) I was extremely late — say, fifteen hours late — for work. I’m glad it was the former…

The above is presented just in case you ever wondered what you might do if you found yourself owning a big white elephant of an abandoned department store in downtown Bakersfield and couldn’t quite afford a whole new sign for it…

Who Gives a Shit?

Friday 18 March 2005 10:00 am | Current Events, Pop Culture, Stupidity

Why are there Congressional hearings on the subject of steroid use by major league baseball players? Could there be a bigger waste of legislative time. money, and attention?

Even assuming there was illegal activity — which is a pretty obvious assumption — Congressional action is no more appropriate here than it would be on the subject of, say, musicians smoking pot or film directors being godless commies. There’s just no reason and no justification for legislators to get involved. It’s not as if anyone important, like soldiers or airline pilots or truckers, is involved here; baseball players are ENTERTAINERS. Who the fuck CARES?

With the repeated strikes and the extortion demands of stadium-craving team owners who want taxpayers to foot the bills for all their expenses, it’s not as if professional sports has much in the way of integrity or ethics associated with it anyway…

Oh, but gee golly gosh, we simply MUST set a good example for the children, mustn’t we? That’s all that matters, after all…

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