Two thoughts upon reading this article:
- Joel Simkhai seems like a completely vapid little wanker, with whom I would never want to have dinner or a conversation. I imagine he would most likely prefer to skip any potential encounter with me as well. I’m really okay with that.
- Given Grindr as one’s only hookup option, celibacy starts looking really attractive.
To start, let’s make it clear that I have no problem with hookups. That would be pretty hypocritical on my part given that it used to be one of my primary hobbies. I also don’t have a problem with meeting people online. I met many of my best friends, random sex partners, and even my ex-husband online. But I met most of those people because of words not in spite of them.
I’m just not ready to be a product that can be ordered from a database, I guess, and my hesitation is only partly due to my fear that no one would choose me.
Remember those bath houses you once upon a time wrote about? I seem to recall (being old enough to recall most of them in San Francisco) that the reason they were so popular is that the bath house removed the need to strike up a discussion in someplace like a bar. No need for a pickup line. No need to consume bottle after bottle of beer. No need for all that cigarette smoke. Bath houses and the steam rooms were very straightforward places.
In that sense these new hookup apps and sites are also simple and to the point. They save on overhead–no payment of a fee to the owner. No getting mugged in a dark alley (okay, getting mugged is still an option, though). It’s the perfect venue for the married bisexual male who in the old days would get his diseases from the bath house.
In truth things change, change, and stay the same.
P.S. Haven’t been here in ages. Good to see you’re doing well.