The Idiot Factor

So I’ve posted the first couple of pages of journals from Road Trip 98, including the SF to Cheyenne and Cheyenne to Indianapolis pages, along with the trip “stats”. It is most flattering that so many people are interested in seeing my dusty old vacation slides…

I’ve been back in the rut known as San Francisco for two days now and I’m not enjoying it. I miss places with heat that works. I miss my friends from the road. I miss White Castle, dammit.

Still catching up on the email. Still catching up on the business. Still feeling like absolute shit, but loving the Count Chocula I smuggled in from Minnesota.

And, alas, still just as disillusioned with San Francisco…

Supreme Idiots:

In 1986, the US Supreme Court ruled that Americans have no right to privacy in their bedrooms in a case involving two consenting male adults in Georgia. This week, however, the Georgia Supreme Court ruled that Georgians do indeed have this right to privacy as they overturned the state’s sodomy laws.

Here’s the catch: this time around, the case involved an adult male who was fucking his 17-year-old niece. What this all means is that fags aren’t really worthy of privacy, but when the law won’t let Bubba pork his brother’s daughter, it’s time for some serious action!

Of course, the new ruling also makes us sodomites “legal” too, so it’s a good thing. I guess the “designated idiots” here are mainly the ’86 Supreme Court. But somehow, my impression of the state of Georgia isn’t enhanced all that much either…

Stripping Idiots:

OK…imagine you’re a Bay Area mother in with a 15-year-old daughter. Your precious progeny wants a particularly lewd male stripper at her birthday party. Even though he’s fondling the girls’ breasts and going in their pants, you allow it to continue. You don’t want to “embarrass” her in front of her friends, after all. At the end of the show, the stripper bares his willy, prompted by a big tip.

Now imagine you’re a judge who has to decide who’s the bigger idiot. Is it the mom for letting it happen? Or is it the stripper for thinking no one would get pissed that he was feeling up 15-year-old girls? Hard choice, huh?

Willie’s Pie

I know what you’re thinking, but I promise I had absolutely nothing to do with the protesters who hit Mayor Willie Brown in the face with a pie. Mind you, I completely support their protest against the “economic cleansing” of San Francisco. And I completely support anything which makes Emperor Willie the Pompous appear foolish.

I’m just pissed off that I didn’t think of it first.

There are, as yet, no pictures or journals from Road Trip 98. However, I have added a Statistics page, with some useless information, “best of” items, etc. Look for the real scoop within the next couple of days.

I’m going back to bed now.

Jesse Ventura and Drag Shows


Dealt with some banking emergencies and last-minute thrift store runs in the morning and a few purchases in the early afternoon. Spent most of the afternoon and evening gazing at the four very purple chairs (my three favorites pictured above) which were delivered to Erik in the morning.

In the evening, Erik and I did the Saint Paul bar tour, including Trikks (stupid name but an OK place) and the Town House (unbelievably frightening place, especially since we were the only two customers). Election returns were coming in. Pro-wrestler Jesse Ventura was slowly but surely being elected governor. I felt like I was in the middle of a Simpsons episode.

I understand in some ways why many voters, particularly younger ones, opted for Jesse. He’s a complete outsider, and provided a unique opportunity to make a statement about the stagnant two-party system. A vote for Jesse Ventura was essentially a “fuck you” to the Democratic and Republican parties, a means of expressing dissatisfaction with their collective moral bankruptcy and lack of new ideas. But the fact remains that he’s basically an idiot. It will be interesting to see what happens now.

Anyway, we finished off the night at the always sedate Eagle and the Brass Rail. I am reminded that I don’t really miss drag shows.

A Horse Is A Horse

Anyone read much about Proposition 6, one of the strangest and flat-out silliest ballot initiatives in California in years? This one makes me wonder (again) about the purely Californian notion that any crackpot scheme can be put to statewide vote with a few signatures on a petition. Proposition 6 makes it a felony to sell horsemeat for human consumption.

What the fuck?

Mind you it’s still legal to butcher Mister Ed for dog food or whatever other purpose, so any “animal rights” arguments are completely moot. Dogs, apparently are smart enough to decide what they want to eat. Humans aren’t.

The whole issue would be too fucking silly to merit comment if we weren’t spending tax money to place it on the ballot. To hell with the myriad social and economic problems facing California! Let’s save the poor little horseys from those three or four Californians who want to eat them.

The Earth Moved

Before anyone asks, it was a complete and total non-event. A magnitude of 5.4 according to the fine folks at Richter (a subsidiary of Microsoft). If not for the accompanying media frenzy, half the Bay Area might well not even have noticed. Of course, native Californians being such a jaded bunch, they generally don’t admit to feeling anything less than a 7.0 anyhow…

From the coverage on local TV, though, you’d think this was the first time California had ever had an earthquake. Jeez…talk about overkill… It brought to mind the panic that hits in places like North Carolina, when the TV stations spend hours going over emergency procedures in preparation for the two-inch layer of snow which MIGHT be on the ground in the morning…

I wouldn’t have noticed either, except for the fact that the damned thing woke me up at 7:15 in the morning (almost two hours earlier than I needed to be awake) and I never quite got back to sleep. This was not amusing at all, since I was already up half the night thanks to the hunger of the El Nino-generated mosquitoes.

This was probably the fourth or fifth noticeable but minor quake in my six years here. The first coincided, as these things do, with my mom’s first visit to SF. It came just after I’d dropped her off at her hotel. I called to say good night. Suddenly my roomie (who was watching the news) yelled “earthquake” from the next room. I asked where. I got my answer pretty quickly.

Mom seemed a little nervous. My aunt, who was also visiting, sounded terrified. I, working on my “Californian” credential, was mildly amused…

The second came a few months later, as I was lying in bed having…ummm…some quality time by myself. Suffice to say, when the earth moved that night, it REALLY moved…

By the way, no one believes that last story, but it’s really true…

Ultimately, I’ve been in storms back east which sacred me lots more than this earthquake. Keep in mind that SF has had two (maybe three) quakes of any particular significance in the past 100 years. I know a few trailer parks in North Carolina which get that many tornadoes in a decade…

I Just Don’t Understand (More)

Seems the California Highway Patrol (you know…Erik Estrada..etc…) is cracking down on sexual activity in the mens rooms at the Transbay Terminal in San Francisco. As is the usual case, they have opted for entrapment (using undercover officers) rather than prevention (using visible uniformed officers). Granted, the uniforms are far more of a deterrent — and I speak from experience here — but undercover officers result in more arrests and ruined lives. No big surprise why they made the choice they did, huh?

Quoth Tom Ammiano: “they’re targeting gay men”. Granted, there aren’t a lot of dykes having sex in the mens room, but actually, they’re targeting people who have sex in public. All sociological aspects aside, these people know there’s danger. It’s one of the rules of the game — and I speak from experience here. It’s hard to come up with too much sympathy, though, for those caught in tearooms in San Franscisco, though. Jeez…you can find somone to have anonymous sex with at SAFEWAY here…

I just don’t understand:

I understand that backpacks are part of the urban scene. I understand why people carry them to work, even though some of them seem big enough for a month-long journey across Europe. What I do not understand is why people drag these mutant backpacks into crowded bars at midnight on Friday night. It’s hard enough to walk from the front of a bar to the back without having to dodge someone’s wardrobe (and TV, VCR, and dishes, for all I can tell…).

So I feel justified in giving these people extra elbow action when they get in my way at Hole in the Wall or My Place…

Other things I’m having trouble understanding today:

  • The “Laverne and Shirley” marathon on Nick-at-Nite this week.
  • Why is it that the larger and “more efficient” a company becomes, the harder it is to get anything done?
  • What do animal rights activists do when they get roaches or termites?

The Idiot Factor

The Harder Side of Sears:

A certified letter arrived the other day from…well…let’s just say a major US retailer. Planet SOMA is forthwith and heretofore advised to cease using the term “the Wish Book” anywhere within the site, as this term is a registered trademark of said major retailer. Mind you, the only place in the entire site this term was used was in a link to another site, the title of which was, surprisingly enough, “The Wish Book”. Never mentioned the damned catalogue at all on my own. All the same, it seems I’m guilty of suggesting that there is some connection between Planet SOMA and this…ummm…major US retailer.

Another letter arrived today from this same retailer, begging me to accept a pre-approved credit card. They must need the extra income to pay their context-impaired lawyers to sit around doing Internet searches…

Funny, they didn’t seem upset by my admission that I used to suck dick in the mens rooms of their stores…

These People Are Allowed to Count Money?

Also in today’s Chronicle was an article on the parking crisis in San Francisco (way to grab those breaking news stories…). The manager of the Bank of America branch in the Castro was quoted as saying it was unfair that her employees had to go out and move their cars every two hours to avoid tickets.

Earth to manager: anyone who DRIVES to job at 18th and Castro and expects to be able to park on the street all day is a fucking IDIOT who deserves whatever tickets he or she gets. The Castro has more transit service than almost anyplace else in the city. Jump on the clue bus people. Hell, jump on ANY bus…

Flaming Idiots:

It seems the US Congress is precariously close to sending out a Constitutional amendment to permit laws banning “desecration” of the American flag. Aside from the pure idiocy of altering the Constitution to punish those half dozen annual flag burners, just who exactly gets to define “desecration”? I think that allowing the flag to fly over the current Congress shows a pretty flagrant lack of respect for the old red, white, and blue.

Too bad we can’t come up with an amendment to render idiots ineligible for elections…

I Just Don’t Understand

I just don’t understand:

  • Malls: What is the appeal?
  • Why would Operation Rescue, an anti-abortion group, really CARE whether thousands of queers plan to descend upon Walt Disney World for a weekend in June? It’s highly unlikely that any babies will be either conceived or aborted as a result of this particular gathering.
  • About fags who plan to descend upon Walt Disney World in June: Why would ANYONE willingly visit Florida in the middle of the summer?
  • Why does everything Mc Donald’s touches taste so much worse than any other fast food?
  • Come on…who gives a fuck if there’s one less Spice Girl? Will the world REALLY change in any significant way?
  • Robert Kennedy was shot 30 years ago this week; there was a short op-ed piece. Waterbeds were invented 30 years ago this week; there was a huge photo-laden “lifestyle” story. Frightening thing is the waterbed probably seemed more important to most READERS too…

Critical Mess

The tension between cyclists and drivers and pedestrians is not good and it’s exacerbated by the fact that the Bay Area is becoming more crowded with members of all transportation classes, most of whom seem to have no idea where they’re going. Traffic here really SUCKS lately and heightened tension on the roadways is doing no one any good.

Aggressive drivers and cyclists need to get some perspective. Both need to start paying a little less attention to who has the moral high ground and a little more to the mechanics of moving from Point A to Point B. Simply put, why can’t road hogs in cars yield some space without whining and moaning ? And why can’t road hogs on bikes drop the self-righteous notion that they have the ultimate right to any and all street (or sidewalk) space to the exclusion of people on foot or in cars? The perpetual rants about why it’s OK for cyclists to break whatever rules they see fit just because their mode of transporation is “superior” to driving or walking is growing a bit tiresome.

And here’s a biggie: why can’t Willie Brown cart his stylishly arrogant butt out of his limo for a few minutes and do something constructive about the problem?