Journals : 2001 : May
4 May 2001 | Link this
Note to the guy with the red and black Airwalks and the wraparound sunglasses who's been getting on the 12-Folsom at Seventh Street around 8:30 AM all week: you look like the biggest jerk who ever walked the face of the earth. Wanna screw around?
Yeah, that's always been a problem for me: many of the people I find myself sexually attracted to as I'm walking down the street also tend to be people I wouldn't want to have a conversation with otherwise. Fortunately, that's not true in all cases. Mostly just those where I'm walking down the street at 8:30 in the morning...
Really...
I'd love to offer some wonderful new news and insights, but mostly I've just been working, cursing the pollen, and fantasizing about sticking it to that guy in the bus shelter while he's wearing nothing but his red and black Airwalks and his wraparound sunglasses...
Now get out of here. It's spring. My mind is wandering. Go say happy birthday to Dan...
5 May 2001 Later | Link this
Stanley W. Brown (1954-2001)
I got the phone call I've been dreading for weeks today, confirming that one of my oldest friends died on 22 March in his San Diego apartment. I'd been afraid this had happened ever since I couldn't reach him prior to my trip last month.
Stan and I met in 1982 when we both worked together at the college radio station. He fancied himself as sort of a queer "mother figure" for me, trying to teach me things I already knew, like how to pick up boys and find the "hidden" gay content in every pop cultural phenomenon of the day.
Stan moved to San Diego in 1986 and never looked back. I made my first visit in 1991, as part of the trip where I decided to move to San Francisco, and I'm sad to say, I made only two or three more visits after moving west. But he came here once a year or so, using my apartment as a home base for his various solitary adventures throughout the city. And we usually talked on the phone once a month or so.
Stan and I had very little in common other than our common background in the south and the sheer longevity of our friendship. But we stayed friends no matter how much our lives (and geography) changed. We always managed to find something to talk about.
He was an odd sort, with very few close friends and confidantes, and he loved his privacy, which might explain why it was so difficult for his supervisor at work to contact anyone close to him. It was this supervisor who eventually called me, after I started making inquiries at the Department of Parks and Recreation.
It's very unnerving to have a stranger (albeit a nice one) inform you of the death of someone you've known for almost twenty years.
For the record, diabetes was the culprit, along (I believe) with the strain of a very stressful year, on which I will not elaborate. He was found in his apartment when he didn't return to work after a week's leave to "recover". There was a memorial service, his ashes were scattered over the Pacific, and there will be a tree and a plaque installed in his memory at the recreation center where he worked.
I'll miss him.
6 May 2001 | Link this
Just wanted to offer a quick thanks to all the people who've sent me really nice email this weekend. And also to Dan and Jamie for making me consume lots of read meat and ice cream. I'd also thank the nice lady at the San Diego coroner's office for calling me back, but she's probably not reading this today...
Now, if all my assorted clients will just refrain from being pissed off about all the work I didn't do this weekend, everything will be OK...
I'd rather not ever mention the coroner's office in this space again, thanks...
9 May 2001 | Link this
The summer of 1980...
I was 15. I'd been hanging out with Jeanne, an older girl of rather loose morals. Dating seems too strong a word, but we necked and petted and all that kind of stuff. It was pretty apparent she would have let me fuck her, had I been so inclined. At the same time, I was supposed to sort of watch out for her and help keep her out of trouble, which was a task for which I was ill-prepared...
One night Jeanne and I went out drinking and getting stoned with my friend Kris. He was older than me too (17) and had a car. We all ended up in some park, sitting in the car talking. Jeanne and Kris were getting a little chummy...
Eventually, they got out of the car and went behind a bush. Kris fucked Jeanne. And it didn't particularly bother me. I didn't think of the implications behind the fact that he was screwing my date. All I could think of was that I wished I'd seen his naked ass bobbing up and down as he gave it to her...
A few realizations that night:
- I prefer boys to girls in the sack (no surprise).
- I have voyeuristic tendencies, particularly when they involve friends I have the hots for.
- I'm a bit of a wimp.
This could have been a big moment for me. It could have been either my first fight, my first (and only) sexual encounter with a female, my first gangbang, or my first three-way. Or some combination of the above...
Instead, I just sat in the car and joked with them after it was all over. Then I went home and had a wank. Within a year and a half, I'd given up girls (and getting stoned)...
10 May 2001 | Link this
Almost orgasmic, especially all those 1977 "Still the One" ABC promos. Thanks, Duncan...
Way to go, Becky...
Me, I have nothing much to say...
11 May 2001 | Link this
Song I like very much tonight: "Under the Milky Way" by the Church. Which probably suggests that I'm in a funk. It's meant that just about every other time since 1988 or so. Owning many hours of music videos which were taped during the very hardcore funks of one's youth is either a blessing or a curse at moments like this...
It may just be a different level of the same mild funk I may have been in since about midway through my vacation. Or it may not be (nor ever have been) a funk at all. I'll keep you posted. Either way, I'll try to spare you further nostalgic ramblings...
Anybody want to hang out and listen to some Ultravox this weekend?
12 May 2001 | Link this
I'll probably never work full-time as a web designer (nor, God forbid, as a developer). I don't have the interest level nor the self-discipline required to teach myself every new technology. Web design has always been more of a means than an end for me. I don't want to be a programmer. I'm a content-driven sort. I want to communicate simply, and in as aesthetically-pleasing a manner as this simplicity will allow...
That's not to say that I don't have strong opinions on the subject, nor is it meant as a cristicism of those who blaze new territory. It's just that I personally don't see the need to add complicated functionality on my own sites just because I can. There has to be a really compelling reason for me to go to the effort required to learn new technologies, My sites (or my life) must be improved dramatically in some way to make it worth my time...
For example, I started using Dreamweaver templates a long time ago. It made my life and my updates much easier. I started using limited CSS for the same reasons (and to improve page loading times). I have not, however, found any particularly compelling reason to experiment with Flash, XML, PHP, or complete CSS-based layouts. I may at some later point...
I can write HTML from scratch (and often do, as it's sometimes the only way to make the aforementioned Dreamweaver work properly), but I'd prefer not to have to do so on a daily basis. If I can come up with a reasonably attractive layout in a (good) WYSIWYG editor, which will load reasonably quickly for a reasonable percentage of browsers and operating systems, I'm happy. And I don't feel particularly guilty nor low-tech...
At least I care about design and realize that not everyone on the planet is using Internet Explorer for Microlsloth Windoze with a resolution of 1024x768 on a 17-inch monitor, which will always put my stuff a few notches ahead of about half the websites out there...
Yes, I'll occasionally play with something just to see if I can make it work, but it's usually to solve a specific problem like complicated navigation or whatever...
I have the highest respect for those few people who are strong on content AND backbone. I guess I'm not one of them, although I probably know more about the nuts and bolts than most users and many designers. I don't think I'd ever have a webhosting account which didn't come with Unix shell access, just because I want it to be there the couple of times a month when I feel the need to "chmod" or to "ls-l"...
But dang it, I'm not completely convinced that the medium is the ENTIRE message, so while this may read like an apology, it really isn't...
14 May 2001 | Link this
I'm going to go out on a limb, risk being unpopular (heavens...), and say, without hesitation, that this medical marijuana ruling from the Supreme Court was the correct and only defensible decision given current law and the case presented. Period.
Before you get pissed off, read on. This is not a rant against medicinal marijuana. It's aimed more at people who bitch and moan and whine about the law without bothering to learn how it works...
First, the Supreme Court did not "rule against medicinal marijuana". It simply said that current US law does not make an excpetion for medical necessity. Which it doesn't. In fact, the Controlled Substances Act SPECIFICALLY prohibits medicinal use...
Second, the Supreme Court did not "outlaw medicinal marijuana", no matter what the BBC (which should know better) reported. It was already illegal. The Supreme Court simply confirmed that fact and acknowledged that it would continue to be illegal, at least until laws are changed...
What a lot of people seem to forget is that the question here was not "is the medicinal use of marijuana a good thing?". The question was "is the medicinal use of marijuana justified under the current laws?". You can argue all day long that it SHOULD be legal (and I might very well be inclined to join you), but that's not the point...
Nor is the oft-argued assumption that a majority of Americans probably support medicinal use. Public opinion is completely irrelevant. The Supreme Court is not an elected, democratic body. Its purpose is to determine whether an activity is OK given currently-enacted laws. Or to decide whether currently-enacted laws past muster under the Constitution.
If public opinion were a valid argument in the Supreme Court, we would most likely still have poll taxes and segregated schools. OK, we still have segregated schools, but at least they're theoretically illegal...
Whether the law is right or wrong was not a concern. If there were no specific mention of medicinal use in the law, it MIGHT have been possible to invoke a medical necessity argument. And it may still be possible. But with the case as made, and the law as written, there was no way the Court could logically have ruled any other way...
Jeff Jones of the Oakland Cannabis Cooperative says the decision was "wrong-headed" and warns that laws will change over the coming years, invalidating the decision. He's right, even though he evidently doesn't know exactly why...
I don't smoke pot and I generally don't think it's a very good thing to do so in most cases, in pretty much the same way I don't think drinking and smoking cigarettes (which I have been known to do) are healthy. However, I do support legalizing medicinal marijuana and I'm not generally in favor of controlling drug abuse through criminal penalties. But the Supreme Court was right on the money today...
Look on it as a call to action...
16 May 2001 | Link this
Note to one condescending yuppie bitch from Marin County (where the level of pretentiousness is matched only be the level of faux liberal hypocrisy):
- I managed to live ten miles from High Point NC for the better part of 25 years without once drinking chicory.
- I've yet to see a single egg being cooked in lard, even at Waffle House, although we also never used organic eucalyptus secretions or whatever.
- When the overwhelming majority of your customers want their tea sweet (as opposed to unsweetened and brewed sometime last month as it often is in California), it's ony natural that this would be the default option.
- Judging from the lines in Union City and Mountain View, Krispy Kreme doughnuts are somewhat of a delicacy here too.
I will grant, though, that it's probably easier to find a $300 hotel room in the Bay Area than in the Triad...
17 May 2001 | Link this
Happiness is:
- Really old Simpsons reruns you haven't seen in a long time. Homer gets a heart bypass. Bart gets a Big Brother. Lisa can't stop caling the Corey Hotline. Yes, I realize I'm mixing episodes...
- Finding a good parking space on street cleaning night...
- Remembering to take out the trash BEFORE you hear the truck out front...
- A 7-Up cake from the Super K-mart in Oakland...
- Switching over to the SciFi channel just in time to catch (unexpectedly) the very first episode of Dark Shadows from 1966...
17 May 2001 Later | Link this
Supposing, for the sake of argument, that you were about to come into a sizeable amount of money you weren't really expecting. Not an "independently wealthy" sum, mind you, but a "moderately significant changes in your life might be possible" sum which is a great deal more than you've ever had before...
Would you bank the money and carry on as usual, but with a fairly large safety net? Would you invest it in some major changes which might be geographic and educational in nature? Or would you just live it up like crazy?
I think I might be more inclined toward the first two options. But I'm just wondering...
19 May 2001 | Link this
Why does it annoy me so much when complete strangers email me and call me "dude"? Probably has something to do with the fact that I'm neither a surfer, a stoner, nor a drunk frat boy...
And why do faggot video pornographers get that whole skater thing so dreadfully wrong? A couple of tips: real skaters do not refer to each other as "skater boys" nor "skater punks", they do not generally look and dress like circuit clones (nor like a spandex version of the woman in Flashdance), and they generally don't hold bladers in very high regard...
Of course, they don't generally fuck each other like rabbits in heat either, so I guess you have to draw the line somewhere. But what's with this sodomite tendency to turn everything real into a bland, cutesy, cartoon version of itself? Witness the Castro...
That's more than I was really going to type on this, my day for pretending I don't have a computer, but I just got started and I couldn't stop...
21 May 2001 | Link this
When I was a kid, my orbit wasn't very large. Within a mile or so of my house was just about everything I needed: the record store, the supermarket where my mom caught me buying beer when I was 15, my high school, and the mall, where sex, drugs, and rock and roll were always available...
I've always been glad I didn't grow up in the hardcore suburbs, where you have to go two or three miles just to find a convenience store. How do kids without cars manage areas like that? I'd hate it even as an adult who HAS a car...
That's one really great thig about San Francisco: if you don't want to drive, you really don't have to. In fact, it's very often better NOT to drive here. Except for the occasional Safeway run, the purpose for having a car in the city is to get the hell out of it, not to navigate within it...
Which is a lesson an awful lot of people need to learn...
23 May 2001 | Link this
I'm beat. After watching the Voyager farewell, I sort of feel like I piloted the damned ship back to the Alpha Quadrant myself. Damned temporal mechanics...
But I'm not too tired to ask this one simple question: how did someone like SF Chronicle and KRON reporter Phil Matier ever get airtime on one of the top-rated stations in one of America's largest TV markets without knowing how to pronounce the word "nuclear?"
Repeat after me, Phil, before you make yourself look any more ignorant. It's NU-KLEE-ERR, not NU-KU-LER. One more time. NU-KLEE-ERR. Got it? Did the capital letters help?
Wow. The aforementioned Star Trek site is currently "403.9 Access Forbidden: Too many users are connected". Somebody's gonna get screamed at tomorrow...
25 May 2001 | Link this
Wanna feel old? "Bette Davis Eyes" by Kim Carnes was the number one song in America twenty years ago this week. Pretty horrifying, huh?
While I'm at it, note that the Beatles were at number one this Memorial Day weekend in 1964 ("Love Me Do") and 1969 ("Get Back"), Ray Stevens was at the top in 1970 ("Everything IS Beautiful") and 1974 ("The Streak"), and George Micheal and/or Wham hit in 1985 ("Everyting She Wants") and 1988 ("One More Try").
And to think I learned all this while taking a crap. It's always a good thing to have entertaining bathroom books.
28 May 2001 | Link this
Weekend superlatives:
Best way to kill off the better part of a Saturday: Thrift stores in Sacramento with Jamie, accompanied by copious amounts of Black Sabbath and Ozzy Osbourne on the radio.
Most entertaining disco song from my past heard in a queer bar I shouldn't have been in: "High Energy" by Evelyn Thomas.
Most disturbing realization of the evening: I know the title and artist associated with the aforementioned song.
Second most disturbing revelation of the evening: I purchased the 12-inch in 1984.
Third most disturbing revelation of the evening: I still speak French passably well after a couple of beers.
Biggest disappointment of the night: Putting a boy I rather like into a cab at 8:00 because he started drinking way too early.
Best consolation of the night: Being fellated by a stranger about six inches away from the two most beautiful boys in the world as they made out. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. If you can't join 'em, get someone to suck you off in very close proximity to 'em.
28 May 2001 Later | Link this
Not to brag or anything, but Bottles is a Yahoo Pick of the Week as of today. I haven't had one of those since about this time in 1996, when Jonno and I were both featured (which is actually how we "met")...
I think this year's annual Memorial Day walk across San Francisco (1999 or 2000 for reference) is officially cancelled. I woke up at 5:00 this morning (after going to bed at midnight) and never quite got back to sleep. Now I just feel like sitting. Or maybe even reclining...
God forbid I should answer some of the email I've been ignoring for the past week or so...
29 May 2001 | Link this
It strikes me upon looking back at yesterday's entry that anytime someone starts a sentence with "not to" (as in "not to brag" or "not to change the subject"), they're about to do precisely the thing they claim not to be doing...
Anyway, it's about to be a week from hell for me, so I'm warning in advance that I'll be all but useless with respect to updates, email responses, and the like. More so than usual, even...
Now get out of here and go tell Sarah to have a happy birthday before it's too late, dammit...
30 May 2001 | Link this
It felt miserably hot today, but not this hot. After all, it was only 39 degrees above normal. To make it worse, my bus broke down on the way home. At least I wsn't on BART; it caught on fire...
Some nights I'm just glad to be sitting at home in front of my fan, working my butt off...
30 May 2001 Later | Link this
Good Lord. Bottles has fairly exploded with this Yahoo link. Over 5400 people visited today. Suffice to say, I've never had 5400 visitors to any of my sites in a 24-hour period before. Nor anything particularly close to that. They should give a guy a little warning...
It's sort of fun for now, but it should all calm down next week...