Homebound

It’s almost the weekend, for alll that really matters in my unemployed state. If I sound a little down, it’s because I probably am. Not about being in Charlotte, which still makes me quite happy, but about the fact that things aren’t quite taking off as I’d expected…

Finding a job hasn’t been as easy as I might have hoped, and that’s affecting me in other ways as well. We’re not destitute or anything; Mark has landed a full-time gig and we both have a bit of freelance work, so for now, I’m something of a kept boy. Or a housewife. But my self-esteem has taken a bit of a battering from the fact that no one really seems to want me. This, in turn, is making me feel a little useless all the way ’round…

Then there’s the fact that I don’t really feel like I ought to be going out and doing anything, mainly because it would cost money, but also because I should be home trying to convince someone to give me a job. So the house sort of feels like it’s closing in on me. At the same time, though, I feel quite comfortable here, working on my little video projects, keeping the laundry caught up, etc. I just don’t feel like I have any business enjoying it…

None of which makes for very interesting copy — nor very exciting phone or email conversations — so I apologize for the lack of a spark on the site lately, and for my lack of attention to my social obligations. I haven’t been too pleasant to be around lately, I fear. But I imagine this self-pity party will be over relatively soon. I try to limit them as much as possible. I’ll keep you informed…