The Most Easily-Solved Crime Ever

Today on Inside Edition:

They call It Gas And Dash– High gas grices are driving some people to fill up and take off! But wait- some gas stations are taking extraordinary steps to stop them!

What “extraordinary steps” are necessary other than the one most gas stations in most civilized parts of the US took fifteen or twenty years ago: make people pay before pumping their gas. What could be more fucking simple?

I’m sorry, but I’m really sick of hearing about this big “controversy”. This whole issue was being argued in Charlotte even when I lived here before, almost two decades ago. Local police announced in the late 1980s that they would no longer pursue “drive offs” beacuse it was such a waste of resources given that this particular crime is so totally preventable…

I didn’t even know there were stations left which let you pump before paying. Those that do pretty much deserve what they get just for rank stupidity. Gas station owners whining about “drive offs” are worthy of about the same level of sympathy as fat people who complain that McDonald’s “made us this way”…