Atlanta to Memphis

 

The drive from Atlanta to Memphis could only be described as unpleasant. It didn’t help that I was cranky and irritable from lack of sleep, but as a special bonus, the roads were from hell and the drivers were pretty damned close to completely incompetent. Repeat these rules after me:

  • We do not pass on the right, even when there are three lanes in our direction.
  • It is unwise to tailgate when going 80MPH.
  • The right lane is the slow lane. The left lane is the fast lane. We do not shift into the left lane and then slow down. This is not good.

A wreck forced me to make a 30-mile detour around Birmingham through some (admittedly pretty) country roads. Alabama has, in general, now replaced Ohio as my most unpleasant state so far. US 78 between Birmingham and Memphis should have been a freeway thirty years ago. And Birmingham itself is smoky, smelly, and generally ugly in a way even I was unable to appreciate.

The road through Mississippi was pretty good. I have no other real observations on the place, except to note that Tuplelo, birthplace of Elvis, is not readily apparent from the freeway which goes “through” it.

Memphis, my ultimate destination for the night, was seedy and fairly endearing in a decayed sort of way. Of course, the “Elvis factor” was in evidence everywhere, and I even stayed in a motel on Elvis Presley Boulevard, not far from Graceland. After the day’s drive, I didn’t poke around much, particularly after taking almost an hour finding a room. By the way, the drivers here are particularly inept…

Atlanta

Wednesday was my day to roam around and see the city. Highlights included lunch at Krystal (the southern version of White Castle), Little Five Points, a decent thrift store on Memorial Drive, a little time downtown, and my own special brand of aimless driving. Aimless driving is particularly interesting in Atlanta, which has a street pattern not far removed from the country roads and horse paths of 150 years ago. Alas, I was unable to contact the queen of darkness and most sensational drag queen in the world, Lily White. Next time…

 

I checked into the Cheshire Motor Inn for my initially unplanned second night and promptly napped through my planned dinner rendezvous with Dan and Tony. Fortunately, they waited, and we ate at a surprisingly good Mexican place, Nuevo Laredo. Then I got sucked into “Voyager”…

 

The nightlife consisted almost exclusively of the Eagle. Just so happens it was “Eagles Nest Key Club” night. Yer humble host is now a member of said club, and membership DOES have its privileges. The biggest privilege is admittance to a most active back room. This back room made up for all the debauchery I’ve missed through the rest of the trip. Lotsa nastiness, including this long-haired “stud boy” who kept attracting couples, both members of which were quick to bend over for him. I was also pleased to see that latex was used in each instance of felonious anal probing.

Checked out the Heretic; it was full of brain-dead disco-bunnies and gym/circuit boys. At Backstreet, where I was planning to look up an old friend, an attempt was made to charge me a $10 cover. I declined, while erupting in fits of laughter at the very thought of shelling out ten bucks to walk into the dump on an off night.

I went to sleep too late. I slept badly. I came to regret this the next day.

Greensboro to Atlanta

Charlotte was alas, a brief blip on the tour. I had a quick lunch at Gus’ Sir Beef with Duncan and realized I wouldn’t have enough time to visit Dawn. Oh well…Christmas again…

After Charlotte, I continued farther and farther south on I-85 (after stopping in Gastonia for some really cheap cigarettes), past “the peach” in Gaffney, through miles of road construction around Greenville and Spartanburg, and onward to Georgia to meet Tony and Dan.

 

Atlanta has always seemed like a bit of an adopted home for me. I’ve been visiting since I was about five years old, and I’ve always been fascinated by the place. This was also the first place I “roadtripped” to in college, as well as a pivotal point in an early non-relationship for me. Suffice to say, Atlanta and I have history, and it wouldn’t surprise me if I ended up living here at some point. It’s such a self-consciously southern place, despite its urbanity; I can’t decide if this is a good thing or not..

 

The host for my Atlanta gig was Tony (as well as his betrothed, Dan, and their cat…who fetches…). It is a good thing to stay with someone who’s about to move into a house at the corner of Hollywood and Vine. That’s Decatur, not Los Angeles, incidentally. Tony is also a former SF resident, so we had things to talk about.

Tuesday night brought sleep.

North Carolina

Today brought visits to the relatives in Reidsville. This is always nice even though it means being trapped in a non-smoking environment for three hours or so, and I’m usually a bit edgy by the end. Now I get to go over to my aunt’s house and finish hooking up her new VCR. I’ll probably miss “The Simpsons” again…

 

I also did my traditional run downtown to see the shadows of what we had instead of malls when I was very young. I peered into the old stores, most of them closed and boarded up, and thought about the crowds which used to roam the streets, and Santa Claus at Meyer’s, and eating at the S&W Cafeteria, and movies at the Carolina Theatre, and popcorn at Kress’s. I’m sad that it’s all gone now, but at the same time glad that I’m just barely old enough to remember when downtown was still the center of things.

I may try to hit Myrtle Beach tomorrow. I lived there for four months eleven years ago. Haven’t been back since. It’s changed either dramatically or not at all, I’d imagine. We’ll see.

***

Seems my dad developed a serious kidney stone in honor of the Tour. Thus, my biggest single frame of reference for the Greensboro leg as been the emergency room at Cone Hospital. Spent pretty much all of Saturday there waiting for something to happen. Fortunately, surgery finally ensued with no complications and my dad is home and quite normal now. Except for the string. Let’s not discuss that…

So I got to relive another aspect of my childhood by hanging out at Cone Hospital. From about age four to age eight or so, I had an awful lot of relatives die there and I remember playing on the steps in front of the main entrance many nights while my parents worried. I finally found those steps again last night while prowling around looking for a smoking area. They look much smaller now.

 

In the process of lurking about the hospital staring at the cute orderlies and interns and reading all about the architecture of Pittsburgh, I managed to miss my cousin’s wedding. At least I was spared the repetitive “I guess your next” comments of my more distant and less savvy relatives.

As yet I haven’t gotten in contact with half the people I planned to, due in part to the above-mentioned semi-drama. I have one day left; it might be a bit tough now.

I did, however, run into several old friends by accident Friday night when I realized that I’d had it with fags and Babylon’s rave children and instead checked out the band at ZooBar. The drummer for the trio on stage turned out to be Roy, a former co-worker from Kinko’s. The sound “man” was his wife Emily. And then I ran into an old WUAG cohort, Lynn Blakey, and found out that her new band, Glory Fountain, had opened. CD received; review forthcoming. I’m prepared to like it.

So as not to be completely removed from queers, I checked out opening night at the new bar in town, the Jokers 3. This is actually a straight club which has fallen on hard times and is now attempting to woo the fags on weekends. As of Friday, the strategy seemed to be failing miserably. And the bar is from hell. Surly staff, $3.25 for a Rolling Rock, and no crowd. Except for the straight redneck holdovers who looked as if they’d been clustered at the same table for the past ten years or so. I opted for a hasty retreat.

 

Drove to the Raleigh and Durham with mom on Friday as well. I’d probably have seen more and done more alone, but it seemed a good “quality time” moment, and was actually a nice break between trips to the hospital.

Tonight brought the big family gathering and dinner. Tons of food and most of the assorted relatives. It was nice, and I’m impressed that my mom managed to pull it off after yesterday.

Today also brought the first mild debauchery of the trip. I’ll skip that detail for right now, but suffice to say UNCG did it for me again…

    

The day before I left, we headed to Mt. Airy, birthplace of Andy Griffith and model for Mayberry. Oddly enough, I’d never been there before despite living most of my life about 45 miles away. Neat place, but they are completely shameless in their exploitation of the Mayberry theme. There’s a Snappy Lunch (which actually predates the show and was really one of Andy Griffith’s hangouts), as well as a Blue Bird Diner, Floyd’s Barber Shop, and Goober’s Filling Station (all “after the fact”).

 

Leaving Greensboro was rough. I have to admit to suppressing a few sobs as I headed for I-85; it’s rough leaving Mom and Dad. Unlike many people who move to SF, I wasn’t running from them. I actually like my parents. It’s Greensboro I was running from. The place just bugs the crap out of me for some reason. No doubt there will be more on this subject later.

So of course I never got in touch with Adam or Daniel and I feel most guilty, but it was a bit of a crazy week. There’s still Christmas, I guess…

Greensboro

It’s as surreal as ever being at home with Mom and Dad in Greensboro. Understand that I have the good fortune to have completely sane parents, which is quite a blessing, but it’s still a bit odd being back under the childhood roof. Among other things, I immediately feel about fifteen years younger — all in all, I guess this is a plus. But there are adjustments: I have to close the bathroom door when I piss, I feel odd about staying out late, I’m mildly uncomfortable about smoking in the house, etc. Plus, there’s no place to go should I meet the man of my dreams…

 

The older I get, the more time I devote to actually spending time with the parents when I visit home. I guess it’s due in part to the fact that I’ve realized they’re not immortal (at ages 67 and 72), and in part to the fact that I’m not as excited by the idea of spending every night lurking around in bars. Of course, last time I was here I felt safer at home anyway.

Mind you, I’m not completely averse to nightlife. Last night was fun. Jeff and I met some friends at New York Pizza, which was one of my old “trouble spots”. This is a strange little bar with a strange mix of people of all sexual, social, and cultural persuasions. Ran into an ex-something from many years past (“boyfriend” would be too strong a word…) who recently has had a heroin problem, was flirted with by another friend, and had generally good Christian fellowship. And pizza…

  

There have also been the obligatory trips to new subdivisions and shopping centers. Greensboro seems perpetually under construction, as perfectly good and relatively new homes and retail buildings are deserted for still newer ones farther out, a result of overabundant cheap suburban land.

But hey, the cable TV is great here; I’ve even been watching Nick-at-Nite’s TV Land. I didn’t think ANY cable companies carried it.

And it’s raining! I’m so excited…

 

Flirtations and relatives and barbecue and clean laundry. All is well down Carolina way. But I now remember that a trip home is no vacation. There are far too many responsibilities for that. There’s this relative and that relative to visit, friends to see, “quality time” with Mom and Dad, etc. I sort of feel like I’ve been on a schedule ever since I got here, even though I really just wanted to sit around watching TV and eating myself into oblivion.

 

It will be odd if my only debauchery of the entire trip occurs here. There have been flirtations, one that I wouldn’t have turned down Tuesday night, and one less enticing one last night. Tuesday’s wasn’t to be at the time, but was fun all the same. As for Wednesday’s, it went as follows (keep in mind that I had given NO signal that sex was a possibility):

“Can I be direct with you?”

“Sure…but I’m really beat and it probably won’t do much good.”

“So how do you feel about HIV?”

Now you see, I hate when it starts like this. I live in San Francisco. I’ve slept with people who have HIV. I’ve dated people who have HIV. Even though I’m negative, I pretty much assume everyone else is positive. But when this is the first part of a pickup line, it makes it hard for me to respond in any polite way. If I say no, it seems as if it’s related to the HIV rather than the fact that I’m just not interested in the guy, when in fact the latter is the true reason.

 

But I got out diplomatically and finished watching the drag show, although I was being stalked by someone else throughout. All this other guy would do was stare at me and try to make me uncomfortable. No conversation. He didn’t even buy me a beer.

Baltimore to Greensboro

The junction of Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland is full of history. Where else could your highway choices be Charles Town/Leesburg or Fredericksburg/Gettysburg? It’s as if both the American Revolution and the Civil War selected this scenic area as ground zero just so tourism would be strong in the twentieth century.

 

This is a truly beautiful part of the country, one of the top two or three in my humble estimation. I spent a lot of time here as a child, so I know the layout pretty well. Twice a year or so, my family would come to Charles Town, WV for the horse races and balance the trip with side trips — always to Harpers Ferry, and sometimes also to Washington, Baltimore, Richmond, or Williamsburg. The Shenendoah Valley was like a second home to me as I was growing up and I was looking forward to a return after fifteen years.

Jefferson County, WV is home to both Charles Town and Harper’s Ferry. The tow are connected in history by abolitionist John Brown’s 1859 raid, held in Harper’s ferry, and his subsequent trial, held in Charles Town. I was happy to see that at least downtown Charles Town hadn’t changed much, although the outskirts have been bludgeoned with the sledgehammer approach of Wal-Mart and related enterprises.

 

I saw all the sights: the courthouse, Charles Washington Hall (where we used to eat breakfast every morning), the 7-11 where I bought cigarettes when I was 15, the motel where I fell down the stairs at age 7, the hospital I was rushed to afterward, the old and deserted race track as well as the renovated new one…

I was, on the other hand, appalled to find that you now have to pay five bucks to park and take a bus into Harper’s Ferry from a lot two miles away. Having no time for such nonsense, I drove into town and found a two-hour space and told to the National Park Service, in essence, to bite me.

 

I looked in the old shops. I stared at the absolutely beautiful point where the Shenendoah meets the Potomac. I climbed the mountain. I saw the ruins of the old church. I sat on Jefferson Rock. I made a nice lady from North Carolina take my picture and showed her party where the graveyard was.

And then I left. West Virginia gave way to Virginia and I realized I was damn close to home. It goes without saying that no maps were required from this point on.

Baltimore and Environs

  

Once in the city of George, Maria, and Cecilius Calvert (Lord Baltimore and family), we were treated to a Sunday afternoon high tea with Taylor, a fellow Greensboro native, who managed to entertain and amuse us by making his fall vacation collide with mine as he drove from Philadelphia to Norfolk. This was a most memorable lunch indeed.

Afterward, we drove around by some places I wanted to see again, including the Rotunda, where a very nice man once tried to befriend me in the men’s room, and the increasingly trendy Fells Point area.

 

We headed down North Avenue (original Highway 40, the “National Road”) to its intersection with U.S. 1. The neighborhoods were interesting and this was a side of Baltimore I’d never seen. And then the diner of my dreams appeared on the left. It was a wonderful thing, pretty faithfully restored, and was a most fitting coffee and pie stop.

 

Then it was back to Westminster, because I was not about to miss the season premieres of “The Simpsons” and “King of the Hill”, tour or no, and neither was Risa.

We stopped at Roy Rogers on the way back so I could experience my first Double-R-Bar Burger of the trip; yer host loves this part of the country ‘cuz it’s the only place Roy’s hasn’t been completely bastardized by Hardee’s. In fact, they even tried to change the names and formats here a few years back and business took such a nosedive they had to change back. OK…I’m overly enthusiastic about fast food here. I’ll stop…

Afterward, I got to hang out with cute boys in the computer lab at Western Maryland College. Big bonus here. And I finally witnessed my first Jewish wedding, albeit on video rather than in person.

And the updates on old high school and college pals prepared me somewhat for the fact that I would be back in North Carolina in a day or so.

Pittsburgh to Baltimore

On the morning of my departure, I got the whirlwind tour of downtown and a few more skyline views. It’s a very compact but bustling downtown district in the “triangle” formed by the Ohio, Allegheny, and Monongahela Rivers. A big centerpiece is the much-praised PPG Plaza, which is actually a sterile post-modern nightmare, David cited a reference describing it as as ” a drag queen on acid’s version of a disco in Oz”. Amazingly fitting, I must say…

 

There was fog and drizzle all around as I left, and Pittsburgh started looking like a more and more viable alternative to SF. But I’ll reserve judgment on that…

 

On the way in, I experienced that special joy which is the Pennsylvania Turnpike in the rain. I stopped at one of the oldest service plazas on the pike. There was even a historical marker; I was impressed, despite the fact that it was originally a Howard Johnsons Restaurant was not mentioned.

 

I didn’t realize that it had been nigh onto ten years since Risa and I saw each other. Regular email contact has that effect. But it was good getting back together.

Baltimore is one of my favorite underrated cities in the US. Of course, I’m supposed to stress that I was staying In Westminster, not Baltimore. I awoke to fields and horse-related smells rather than urban blight and decay. But we did go to Baltimore, even though I could have stood to spend more time there.

Pittsburgh

  

Morning number one (and morning number two for that matter) was a good excuse for breakfast at Ritter’s, a classic Pittsburgh diner. Thus fed, we proceeded to tour the entire city, bridge to bridge, tunnel to tunnel, and neighborhood to neighborhood. A good bit of this happened on foot, which was a blessing after too many days in the car.

 

I was particularly fond of the Strip District, which is an old market and industrial area which has not yet completely succumbed to gentrification. There are still markets and warehouses and factories around, although the coffee shops and trendy bars are starting to pop up.

One particular building here just sent me into fits of ecstasy for some reason. It was formerly the Armstrong Cork factory, and is now abandoned and just waiting to be taken over. Too bad that it will probably be ruined by some developer who will clean it up and make it all nice and pretty for new upscale tenants. But I love it as is it is, in all its faded glory.

Another favorite was the Hill District, once Pittsburgh’s own little Harlem, with theatres and clubs, and restaurants. Now, it’s pretty much a standard urban ghetto, but it’s still possible to catch glimpses of what used to be.

 

I decided that the south side Mount Washington area would be the place I’d most likely end up living if I moved to the city (which is not as unlikely as it might sound). But I’d most likely find myself doing a lot of boy-watching around Pitt and Carnegie-Mellon as well. Of course, there’s a lot to be said for Shadyside and Oakland too…

Late afternoon activities centered around the university area: bookstores, boy-watching, the Cathedral of Learning and more. The campuses of Pitt and Carnegie-Mellon are more or less on top of each other and they make for a lively urban area. The bookstore at Pitt is a wonderful thing, which has not yet been taken over by a chain.

  

At twilight, there was Schenley Park. The “cruising park”. Hmmm. Of course there was a visit. I was amazed; it was mobbed. The proximity to the universities and the easy automobile accessibility are definite pluses as far as the crowd goes. Nice trials. Nice collection of people. I might never have to hit a bar.

Actually, I could not tell you about the bars. That’s on hold for a more lengthy visit. It didn’t seem a priority for this trip, although I remain curious.

 

Detroit to Pittsburgh

OK…it was more or less only a place I was supposed to spend a night sleeping, and only won out over Cleveland because I was offered a place to stay. But I liked Pittsburgh so much I allowed myself to get a full day off schedule for the first time so far just because it was so cool here.

 

This is in marked contrast to Ohio, which I will specifically describe as one of the most unpleasant places on the tour so far. Toledo was such a traffic and construction snarled hellhole that I didn’t even stop to get money or food before getting on the overpriced Ohio Turnpike. Of course, as it turns out, there are NO ATM’s along the pike, despite the distressing number of Hardee’s. This made getting off said turnpike a very interesting experience as I had about two bucks in my pocket at the time. I now owe the state of Ohio three dollars. It’s a good thing there was no comment card attached to the citation. All in all, I’d just as soon skip Ohio next time, crappy turnpike and all.

 

But I did love Pittsburgh, once I finally arrived! It’s a beautiful place; with the rivers and the hills and the trees, it easily rivals San Francisco as far as the natural setting goes. In fact, the addition of actual trees and greenery affords Pittsburgh a beauty which is almost impossible to find anywhere in California.

As I drove in, on the winding highways cut between the hills and the rivers and saw that the actual city was pretty damned cool too, I realized that one night wouldn’t be enough. Fortunately, David, my host, was amenable to this idea. The fact that the Goodyear blimp was in town to honor my arrival made it all the more special. Obviously, the city really took my visit to heart.

 

Fifty years ago, the steel industry ruled Pittsburgh and it had a reputation as perhaps the ugliest and most unpleasant place in the USA. Maybe that’s why I liked it so much. Actually, I didn’t catch much evidence of the former steel domination. What I did see were great neighborhoods, interesting buildings, and the boys of the University of Pittsburgh (some of the most visually appealing of the trip so far). Apparently, the writers who so despised Pittsburgh were unable to see past the smoke and soot which used to be everywhere.

   

I guess there’s nothing really specifically spectacular about the place. I just liked it. The geography offers a great setting for the town and the mountains and rivers divide it into quite manageable village-like areas. It was good that I had a guide, or Pittsburgh might have been damned near indecipherable, my geography degree notwithstanding. A host who provides topographical maps is always a good thing.