Category: Home and Domesticity

The Weekend

Hmmm. Let’s take stock of the weekend:

  • Created many ad banners for sex sites. It’s amazing how non-stimulating dirty pictures can be while you’re tweaking them and making them into phone sex ads.
  • Realized how odd it is that Jonno and I are both discussing phone sex ads today.
  • Kept trying to (a) minimize my sore throat and (b) figure out why I have one.
  • Pissed off a few people (perhaps justifiably) with what I believed was an innocuous comment about literacy levels and education in the south.
  • Watched a few “Streets of San Francisco” episodes while nodding in and out on the couch from the allergy medicine.
  • Vacuumed up all the remaining construction dust in my apartment.
  • Had dinner at the most miserable, useless Pizza Hut in the world with Dan and Jamie.

It seems like I accomplished much more than I really did…

On my mind moving into Monday:

  • Damned throat.
  • I’m glad I didn’t go out, pick up a boy, and stay up doing nasty things tonight like I did last Sunday.
  • I have heat again.
  • There’s really very little good daytime TV on the weekends.

Home

Perfect end to a perfect trip.

After a long, stressful drive from San Diego, I walk into my apartment (the one I spent half a day cleaning before I left) and realize I’m in the middle of getting new drywall in my hallway. The lights in the hall don’t work, there’s a thin film of white dust everywhere, and the TV cable no longer extends to the living room.

Then I walk into the bathroom to take a nice, long shower. There’s spackle all over my good towels, my bathroom rug, and my sink. And there’s this mysterious unidentifiable gray shit all over the tub.

I’m either going to go get very drunk or maybe just go to sleep in my moderately dusty bed, so I can sneeze all day tomorrow like I did the whole time I was back east…

Annoyances and Discoveries

Today’s date is dedicated to Mark.

Annoyances du jour:

  • Can anyone offer me any explanation why cluster tomatoes grown in a hothouse should cost 50-75% more in winter than they do in summer? Am I missing some crucial issue here?
  • It’s freezing in my living room, 58 at my last check. Yes, I still have no heat. No, I do not blame my landlord (whom I actually like and trust, believe it or not). It’s all but impossible to get a contractor to do anything in SF right now; they’re all too busy building live/work lofts out of stray pieces of corrugated cardboard. Ahh, San Francisco. Where it’s always “jacket weather”. Inside and out.
  • Has anyone else noticed that everything on TV (networks, cable, and independents alike) has just plain sucked for about the last month or so?

Happy discovery du jour:

November Sucks

Jonno was right; November sucks. It’s freezing and the heat in my apartment isn’t working. I have an ingrown pubic hair and a big shaving-related gash on my left cheek. I’m thinking of calling in sick to my part-time job tomorrow rather than going in and committing the grisly murder I fantasized about all day today.

And there’s still no elected leader of the free world…

I guess things aren’t all THAT bad, though. I had my fill of barbecue this weekend. Real barbecue. North Carolina barbecue. Chopped pork in a vinegar and pepper sauce. None of that ketchupy crap the rest of the country uses. I was happy.

I’ve also spent two quite pleasant low-key evenings with a nice guy who met me through email. See? That could have been you. But then again, you might have been miffed at the fact that I’m not really fit human companionship this month. David (the David who isn’t me) wasn’t, fortunately. He gets extra points; I’ll write more when he gets to 50.

I’m thinking of taking a few days off from this space. Of course, that’s in addition to the few unannounced days I already took off. Check back though. I may change my mind later tonight if I have somthing more to say, or if I really go on that killing spree at work tomorrow.

Clean House

David’s first rule of casual copulation: in the rare event that one’s house is completely clean one evening, no potential sex partner will see it, no matter how promising things may look early in the evening. Period.

The laundry is done, the dishes are washed, and the floors are vacuumed, and I’m sitting here watching “Badfinger: Behind the Music“, all by my lonesome. That’s OK; I did have nice cheap sex earlier with a boy in very convincing bike messenger drag, among others. But I rather wanted to bring someone home. And I thought I was going to at one point. Oh well…

Things I love tonight:

  • Badfinger.
  • My stunningly clean house and “Downy fresh” laundry.
  • Half-price Hallowe’en candy at Long’s.
  • $1.69 Stouffers at Ralphs.
  • Alternaboys with surprisingly large penises.

Things I hate tonight:

  • Cute boys (named Steve) who are sober enough to cruise me very agressively (to the point of snuggling, even) but are too drunk to have the attention span required to get past that point.
  • Forgetting to set the VCR and thus missing The Simpsons while engaging in the aforementioned snuggling.
  • The asshole who stole the brand new jack from my trunk just hours after I bought it last night.
  • Laundromats.

Crushes and Geeks

The great thing about being 36 is that I’ve gotten past those obsessive crushes of my youth. These things used to throw me into the most severe funks imaginable, but now I find myself getting more amused than frustrated by them.

The current one, as it happens, is directed toward this cute, geeky straight guy I know. Nothing will ever come of it, I’m quite certain, and I don’t particularly care. I don’t even think about him very often, save for the occasional masturbatory fantasy where he does really out of character things and talks dirty.

I love cute little geeky guys. They’re only one of many types which can get me going sexually, but they’re probably the only type which will ever have a real shot at me romantically.

By the way, I’m not using geek as a synonym for “computer nerd” here. The two types merge sometimes but not always. My definition of geekiness is based more on an active intellect combined with an almost childlike enthusiasm for a few really esoteric subjects (one of which may or may not be digital in nature). The “childlike” part is very important; a good geek is first and foremost a big kid.

Anyway, I’m not stressing about this little crush. In fact, I’m a bit relieved that it’s happened. In my cynical little world, it’s quite refreshing to find myself engaged in such an innocent and harmless pastime. Maybe there’s hope for me after all.

Things I like today:

Over-hyped thing I realized tonight I don’t much care for:

Sex in the City

Mom does SF

So I actually went to the Folsom Street Fair for the first time in several years. It was every bit as boring as it always is, but it was slightly amusing being there with my mom. Fortunately, she was no more impressed than I was, and her curiosity was satisfied with a brief walk-through. Which was about all I could stand too…

Yes. Mom skipped the spanking booth. And yes, she could tell that most of those leather jockstraps were filled more with toilet paper than genitalia.

The visit was great. We covered lots of ground, from the Delta to Point Reyes to Polk Street. We ate well, and I’ll be eating leftovers for weeks. We talked and watched The Simpsons (which is now back up to three airings a day on UPN44) and shopped at numerous supermarkets. We finally retired the chair which has supported my ass through 4 1/2 years of Planet SOMA, replacing it with a spiffy new replacement.

I miss Mom and she’s only been gone since this morning. Yes, I was gettng used to having breakfast and coffee ready every morning when I woke up. And yes, I teared up a little when she left this morning. By the way, does anybody want some macaroni and cheese?

A few pictures from Mom’s visit. You can click ’em all you want, but they won’t get any bigger. So there…

 

I promise to be less folksy and homsespun and to start answering email again soon. Really…