Category: Work

Web Design as a Profession

I’ll probably never work full-time as a web designer (nor, God forbid, as a developer). I don’t have the interest level nor the self-discipline required to teach myself every new technology. Web design has always been more of a means than an end for me. I don’t want to be a programmer. I’m a content-driven sort. I want to communicate simply, and in as aesthetically-pleasing a manner as this simplicity will allow…

That’s not to say that I don’t have strong opinions on the subject, nor is it meant as a criticism of those who blaze new territory. It’s just that I personally don’t see the need to add complicated functionality on my own sites just because I can. There has to be a really compelling reason for me to go to the effort required to learn new technologies, My sites (or my life) must be improved dramatically in some way to make it worth my time…

For example, I started using Dreamweaver templates a long time ago. It made my life and my updates much easier. I started using limited CSS for the same reasons (and to improve page loading times). I have not, however, found any particularly compelling reason to experiment with Flash, XML, PHP, or complete CSS-based layouts. I may at some later point…

I can write HTML from scratch (and often do, as it’s sometimes the only way to make the aforementioned Dreamweaver work properly), but I’d prefer not to have to do so on a daily basis. If I can come up with a reasonably attractive layout in a (good) WYSIWYG editor, which will load reasonably quickly for a reasonable percentage of browsers and operating systems, I’m happy. And I don’t feel particularly guilty nor low-tech…

At least I care about design and realize that not everyone on the planet is using Internet Explorer for Microlsloth Windoze with a resolution of 1024×768 on a 17-inch monitor, which will always put my stuff a few notches ahead of about half the websites out there…

Yes, I’ll occasionally play with something just to see if I can make it work, but it’s usually to solve a specific problem like complicated navigation or whatever…

I have the highest respect for those few people who are strong on content AND backbone. I guess I’m not one of them, although I probably know more about the nuts and bolts than most users and many designers. I don’t think I’d ever have a webhosting account which didn’t come with Unix shell access, just because I want it to be there the couple of times a month when I feel the need to “chmod” or to “ls-l”…

But dang it, I’m not completely convinced that the medium is the ENTIRE message, so while this may read like an apology, it really isn’t…

Thanks

Just wanted to offer a quick thanks to all the people who’ve sent me really nice email this weekend. And also to Dan and Jamie for making me consume lots of read meat and ice cream. I’d also thank the nice lady at the San Diego coroner’s office for calling me back, but she’s probably not reading this today…

Now, if all my assorted clients will just refrain from being pissed off about all the work I didn’t do this weekend, everything will be OK…

I’d rather not ever mention the coroner’s office in this space again, thanks…

The Weekend

Hmmm. Let’s take stock of the weekend:

  • Created many ad banners for sex sites. It’s amazing how non-stimulating dirty pictures can be while you’re tweaking them and making them into phone sex ads.
  • Realized how odd it is that Jonno and I are both discussing phone sex ads today.
  • Kept trying to (a) minimize my sore throat and (b) figure out why I have one.
  • Pissed off a few people (perhaps justifiably) with what I believed was an innocuous comment about literacy levels and education in the south.
  • Watched a few “Streets of San Francisco” episodes while nodding in and out on the couch from the allergy medicine.
  • Vacuumed up all the remaining construction dust in my apartment.
  • Had dinner at the most miserable, useless Pizza Hut in the world with Dan and Jamie.

It seems like I accomplished much more than I really did…

On my mind moving into Monday:

  • Damned throat.
  • I’m glad I didn’t go out, pick up a boy, and stay up doing nasty things tonight like I did last Sunday.
  • I have heat again.
  • There’s really very little good daytime TV on the weekends.

Random Thoughts from Vacation

Random thoughts from a vacation still in progress:

  • It seems like less of one if you’re doing a significant chunk of work in the middle if it.
  • I will never again attempt to add memory to an iMac. Not pleasant. Enough said.
  • Mmmmm. Liver pudding.
  • Nice diversion: boy with purple mohawk stuffing the majority of his tongue down my throat.
  • Why does it cost less to rent a larger car rather than a smaller one?

More later: critical analysis, disturbing discoveries, unpleasant vagueries, and just plain fun. Thanks to everyone for holding off on all that email. Your cooperation is divine…

Frustrated and Excited

I give up. To hell with designing websites and writing porn. I’m gonna be a Towerette…

Frustrated:

  • I’m working on three major projects right now which HAVE to be finished by the end of the this week when I leave town, and two of the clients affected did not get back to me with approvals on Friday, making me lose two very-needed days of work on them this weekend.
  • My new monitor is causing interference on the TV in my office, but only on the lower channels.
  • I rented some of my first porn videos in a couple of years this week and they just plain sucked. And not in a sexy sort of way.

Senile or just overloaded:

  • I seem to be forgetting very basic things this week, like where the trunk and hood releases are on my car, how many spoonfuls of coffee to use, and what channel Bravo is on.

Excited:

  • I’m leaving town for three weeks next Saturday, no matter what.
  • I found a really cool That Girl video at the Super K-mart last night, which contains not only all three versions of the opening and closing credits, but also the famed Ethel Merman episode.
  • I found a copy of Repo Man for $3.99 in the very same pile.

Work and Vertigo

Jeez, what a weekend. I’m working on three major client projects this weekend and they’re all starting to look alike. And somehow I don’t think the book distributor or the soccer promoter really want a site with elements from the site about semi-public cocksucking…

But my mood improved dramatically with a long drive this afternoon, and it’s gotten still better tonight with Vertigo. Twice…

Apologies to everyone whose email I’ve ignored over the past three or four days. It will get better soon. Maybe…

Howdy Partner

Mildly disturbing realization of the day: if you do a Google search on Double R Bar Burger, one of my pages is the first listing, and this is one of the only six others. Bodes well for me if I ever decide to do a site on the history of Roy Rogers Resturants, huh?

Working like a dog. Hating this weekend. Loving this…

Tech Assholes

So suppose you’re working on a site redesign for a client who’s moving to a new proprietary database-driven server application. Suppose you’re given minimal instruction on how to design for this mystical new server application no one’s ever really used before. And suppose you have a question related to the rather uninformative FAQ you were sent.

Suppose their response to your query is “this question is already covered in the FAQ. Please look it up.”

While you’re supposing, please suppose that you’re neither an idiot nor a 12-year-old. Suppose that, had the information been clear, you wouldn’t have asked the fucking question in the first place. And suppose you know that it would have taken this account rep about five seconds either to have cut and pasted the text in question into her message, or at least to have referenced just where in the FAQ this information was.

Suppose you emailed her back with the diplomatic and businesslike translation of this:

“Look, you condescending bitch. I don’t respond well to rudeness and flippancy. We’re working together to help a mutual client here. But this client has a much longer-standing relationship with me than with you, and I’m not above making your life a living hell.”

Suppose that would be a bad thing?

New Scanner

There’s a new scanner on my desk. Tiny. Nice. It’s approximately a tenth of the size of the old one I bought used last year (which never really quite worked anyway). Other than that, and finally getting out of the house on the first non-rainy Saturday afternoon in about a year, it’s been a remarkably uneventful weekend…

I did finally get past my writer’s block and get Adam and Eric a litte farther down the road to, ummm, brotherly love. But you’ll have to pay someone else to read about that…