Category: Work

Welcome to March

It’s going to be a long month. Three sites in mid-redesign, one starting from scratch, one porn series in mid-bang, and a mad rush to finish it all before taking a three-week vacation in April. I probably won’t be very chatty for a while. And I’ll probably be cranky when you hear from me at all. Don’t say you weren’t warned…

Yeah, like I’m ever NOT cranky…

Actually, I was almost giddy a few minutes ago. I’ve made an important discovery: an entire block on a South of Market alley with NO PARKING RESTRICTIONS. None. No time limits, no curbs of any color, no residential permit requirements, and (get this) no street cleaning…

In theory, I could legally leave my car there until the end of time. Or until the Department of Parking and Traffic catches on. Which will be soon, I imagine, as this is likely one of the only streets in the whole damned city where parking is completely unregulated…

And no, I’m not revealing the location….

Asshole Coworker

There’s this guy I work with. No, he’s not the one I had the sex dream about. He’s just a garden variety asshole…

I wonder how people like him manage to function in society. He’s over 30, but he still gives off bratty, sullen teenager vibes more convincingly than most bratty, sullen teenagers. He’s whiny. He has the same “that’s not fair” complex most of us grew out of at 16. This is not just Peter Pan Syndrome; he literally never grew up…

And to top it off, he’s probably the rudest, most inconsiderate person I have ever known. He slams into people and excuses himself grudgingly (if at all). He assumes that everyone’s food, newspapers, whatever, are community property, without waiting for an invitation (or even asking, most of the time). He can’t even be bothered to step out of the way when he sees you walking down the corridor carrying something heavy. And God forbid he should offer to help…

He’s always the first in line for (more than) his share when someone brings in doughnuts, burritos, or whatever, and he has, of course, never brought it anything himself. It goes without saying that he’s less than stellar in his job performance, and defensive when criticized…

Did I mention that he takes things? And that he gets really pissy when you call him on it? Yeah, probably…

The thing that really baffles me is that he manages to be employed or to have friends at all…

This is one case where I really have to blame the parents. It’s a no-brainer to deduce that he was raised by fairly well-off parents with such a blinding commitment to “self-esteem” and “self-expression” that they neglected to teach him the social skills, discipline, and sense of responsibility which might have ALLOWED him to express himself effectively. I can imagine that he’s never written a thank you note in his life.

And you can be sure his self-esteem will eventually suffer for it…

Randomly Tuesday

Why no, the picture above has nothing to do with anything. It’s just one of the several random Burger Chef moments I’d like this site to become known for. Thanks for asking…

Anybody have any great and unusual ideas for a skate-related porn story I need to start writing for Boardboys tonight? February’s PG&E bill may depend on it…

I have SO much stuff I need to be working on right now, and I can’t seem to start doing any of it…

Hectic Week

Yeah, I’m still alive. It’s been a hectic week. I’m working a lot and trying to teach myself Director against my will (and my better judgment). And I seem completely unable to compose a simple email message, so particular apologies to Becky and Dan…

I did drag myself out on Thursday night and found it oddly entertaining. Minor backroom activities aside, I ran into a friend I hadn’t really talked to in a while, and I fended off advances from a nice enough boy who bought me drinks and said I looked like a thug. I think I like looking like a thug, but I’m not quite sure…

Coming this weekend: more RAM, smog check, dinner with Dan and Jamie tonight (i guess), and maybe a mini road trip someplace. I haven’t decided yet…

Once again, I promise to get interesting one of these days…

New Domain

My new domain for Bottles finally went live sometime yesterday, it seems. Took long enough. And it seems like the DNS lookup is slow too; that would mean that it takes a long time for the site first to start loading, but then everything’s OK. Is anyone else having this trouble? Does anyone else care?

Back to working on other people’s sites now…

The Most Sensitive Sex Organ

Sex is definitely more about psychology than about a series of physical sensations for me. I’ve always known this, but I never really thought about it much until I started writing one-handed fiction.

What I mean is this: some people fantasize about doing specific physical things, like having the tongue hit just a certain spot during oral sex or whatever. But when I’m fantasizing, it’s usually more about the situation which led to the sex rather than the actual mechanics. Or sometimes about the psychology associated with a specific act like shooting a load in someone’s mouth, etc.

That’s why, for example, one of my big turn-ons is when a guy does something that seems totally out of character. Like when some tight-assed little clean-cut preppy guy decides he wants to get pissed on by three punks, or when a decidely swishy sort turns out to be a really nasty aggressive “top”, or when a cute trendy young’un chases after older guys.

I don’t think my outlook is all that uncommon, really. It definitely looms large among many tearoom afficiandos, whether they get off on the potential for getting caught, or (as I did) because you meet some surprisingly interesting types there. It also comes into play every time a couple decides to have a three-way. And, of course, it’s a big part of most fetishes.

I don’t think this heavy-duty psychological approach to sex is necessarily superior, either. It makes the hunt difficult when you’re always trying to create a “story” with your potential victims. In fact, it even may have its drawbacks when push comes to shove (so to speak) as well. That’s why most fetish videos are so boring once you get past the boot-licking or armpit-sniffing.

But when it comes to writing stories, it means that I create (I think) really great and sexy situations. As might be expected, though, I’m weak on the bump and grind. I have occasionally had the same problem in the sack.

I’m babbling. This made much more sense when I was thinking about it than it did when I started typing. I’ll try to be better tomorrow…

Notice?

I think I gave notice at my evil, soul-sucking part-time job today. I’m not really sure I meant to yet; it just sort of happened, almost by accident. It’s probably for the best, but it does add a certain urgency to my quest for a career. Mainly because I probably won’t quite be able to make ends meet until I find some sort of replacement.

The preferred replacement would be a larger chunk of freelance work. Need a website? Need porn stories? Need a bitter and sometimes sarcastic columnist? I’m open to other things, although I think my age and girth have pretty much ruled out prostitution or modeling.

Resume?

And no, I can’t offer insight on why I’m leaving my current job, because I’m not entirely sure if I’ve left it yet.

Plans for the weekend:

  • Eradicate this cold I seem to have caught.
  • Entertain Duncan and Rick (arriving Saturday) and maybe convince them that they need a very well-paid houseboy who can cook grits.
  • Update Bottles.
  • Have sex. Maybe even with another person. Volunteers solicited.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Day. Appropriately, it’s cold, gray, and autimnal in San Francisco. All in all, I’d say I’m being treated to roughly the same weather I’d be experiencing if I were at home with Mom and Dad. The only difference is the lack of fallen leaves all over the streets and the grass. Of course, there’s not really any grass here to be covered anyway.

Perhaps the greatest thing about Thanksgiving Day in the city is the fact that I managed to park right at my front door last night. A minor miracle. And, were I to give up this prime space, I might actually get it again later today.

I’m not really going to sit here all day. Dan, Jamie, and I are going out in search of a charming Denny’s in another area code later this afternoon. Could be Sacramento or Santa Cruz or just Pacifica, depending on the traffic. And then we might go to K-mart.

Thanksgiving has never been a holiday I celebrate very festively. My one concession was baking a pan of brownies last night, which did impress several of my friends, oddly enough. I usually save most of my domesticity for Christmas. I’m not sure why, given my lack of any particularly active Christianity.

I’m actually going into my miserable part-time job for a hour or two tomorrow, having negotiated an hourly rate for this favor which rivals that of some doctors or lawyers, but still doesn’t quite compare with most auto mechanics.

But for now, I’m watching Bewitched. I’m thankful to be watching Bewitched.

Site Changes

Just testing a new interim front page with Planet SOMA to the left and The Other Stream up above. The idea is to make it the entrypoint for both sites until I’m ready to divorce them completely in a month or two. This idea may suck. I haven’t decided yet…

Besides, it’s Thanksgiving week, which has always proven to be a low-traffic time which is great for experiments.

At any rate, my uncertainity pales in comparison to what they must be going through at the Chronicle and the Examiner right now. It’s a strange thing; the Examiner’s “final issue” today was sort of final, but not really. After all, the paper will still exist tomorrow, albeit as a morning paper owned by a different company and written by a different staff. And the old Examiner staff will still be around tomorrow too, working at the Chronicle. Confused? A lot of people are…

My biggest concern, of course, is where Zippy the Pinhead will end up.

My other biggest concern, alas, is about my increasingly miserable on-site part-time job. No 20-hour a week gig should be tormenting me as much as this one is starting to. I don’t see it lasting past the end of the year. So if you have any great-paying semi-regular part-time work which will balance out the cashflow in my freelance jungle, please let me know…